One of those days

All parents who has kids would agree that they would have good days and bad days.

Today was a bad day.

I invited my new friend and her 2,5 years old son for a play date in our house today. I was excited, I thought would be nice to have people come over. she would be my first guest. I am new to this island and of course I am trying to make friends, also a good change for day to day activity for Evan. But all ended up with a big drama.

Evan had a nonstop bad behaviour. He was constantly being rude, disobedient, out-of-control the whole time they were in the house. He kicked, threw toys, pushed, didn't share toys, didn't share food, snatched, threw tantrum over a biscuits, and so on and so on, the list is going on.

The poor little boy was scared of Evan and wanted to go home. The mother was good. She kept make nice conversation, and tried to convince me that I don't need to worry about Evan's behaviour over them. But I felt super bad. I would not happy if I was in her position. I am not sure if they wanted to come back and make friends with us.

Evan has never been like this. He was such a polite-sweet-shy little boy back in Perth. As soon as we moved out and travelled, he hardly talk to anybody else than us (me and hubby). Instead, he did raspberry. He also hardly violent to anyone else before, he usually happy to have someone else in the house and show off his toys. So all of this violent behaviour is new. I was shocked. He was so self-centred, ignored whatever I said and made a scene the whole time this morning.

That was an endless - tiring 1.15 hours I've ever experienced in my own home.

He actually had some scenes every time we went to a play group, and the last one was in the swimming pool for his very first swimming lesson yesterday. I got a feeling that no other mothers wanted to talk to me for having a very naughty boy. I almost can hear other mums chatters to each other saying "that's the mum with a boy who likes to throw toys. You should be careful with that boy, he is naughty and violent!"

I am literally in tears as I type. I wanted to explode in a fit of frustration, anger, guilt, and compassion. I almost lost it. In this moment, I wanted him to be very, very far away from me. I don't want to take him to any mother's group, play group, swimming lesson, etc anymore. But I also felt so sorry for him.

I remember back in 2009 when Evan still only about 9 months old, I wrote this post. It's upsetting that my hope didn't come true. That Evan is now bullying other kids. And I felt I am such a failure. Now I can only hope I can help him to be a better boy. I hope I can be a better mum for him. I hope this is only a phase that he has to go through in his toddler life, that will go away easily and not getting worst.